You forget about everything for a little while.
Plus, it’s essential to our health, our appearance, and overall well-being. No pressure… really!
It’s just getting to that point of falling asleep and staying asleep (until the morning) that can sometimes be difficult… I’ve created lists of things to do so that I’ll help my brain relax at night. I figured, if it’s not on my mind, it’s less heavy and easier to drift off… That really didn’t work.. I kept waking up and adding to my list until I ended up with things I wanted to do three years ago… but hey, it needs to get out.
I’ve started drawing. I can’t draw.
Meditating… listening to relaxing music – that always helps. Just like Yoga. At least that’s what they say. Every time I go into a downward facing dog, I forget to breathe in so that by the time I’m actually facing up again, my face changes from bright blue to a delightful red. Because eventually, I do start to breathe again – always a good sign. I can trust my body. Thank you!
Playing games on my phone. Surprisingly, this has proven to be very entertaining and has kept me from checking Facebook for the n’th time and wondering why the heck nobody has posted anything in the past 5 minutes. How dare they – I’m trying to entertain myself to sleep!
Reading. The thing about reading is that it works in an opposite way to how I would like it to work – when I’m really into a book, the author has reeled me in, I don’t want to let go, but the steady eye movement from left to right makes my eye-lids heavy. I have about seven (!) half-read books next to my bed. I fell asleep to every single one of them and will probably never know how they end. Another problem then evolves, and I don’t know which one to continue reading. They are all worth finishing and each author has put so much time, effort, sweat, tears, thoughts and money into making this, it would be unfair to prefer one over the other. I really need to make another list. And then a list for my lists.
Netflix. I’ve repeatedly watched The Office, all parts of Beverly Hills Cop, and am now back to A Different World. I will never know why Denise eventually left Hillman, and I somehow mysteriously ended up in season 4.
Eventually, I always do fall asleep… I not so much learned, but let nature take its course and surrendered until my body decided that NOW it’s time to fall asleep. But I kept waking up… with the weirdest thoughts and preoccupations. Like when I intended to fall asleep to a thought of someone very pleasant, and ended up dreaming about having near-intercourse with my 80-year-old former co-worker. It was a true nightmare. I’m so creative at night, I could probably change the world… If I wasn’t so tired.
I get up, make some tea… And try some techniques for falling back asleep that a friend had told me about. I’m very reluctant to Melatonin (although it’s supposed to help you sleep in a natural way, but with my thyroid and everything)…. I’m more of a Niquil person. But then again not, because I want to do it on my own – not with some medicine that may get me hooked.
One of those techniques is counting loops (not sheep)… same thing, but different: you count 1-breathe in-2-breathe out-3-breathe in-4-breathe out- all the way to 8, and then backwards: 8-breathe in- 7 breathe out… by the time I got to 4 again, I had created a medium-size tornado and was hyperventilating. I guess they didn’t mean that you should breathe heavily, but “normally”… I forget how to breathe normally if I concentrate on it. Same thing with Yoga – your breathing should match your movement… I mysteriously forget how to breathe and move.
Eventually, I give in… I put on Netflix on the Ipad, play games on my phone, and stop doing one of them when I feel I fall asleep. Until the next night… when the whole array of choices starts over again.
Sleeping really is a tough chore. Maybe I should see someone about this…